Masks in my life 

I was taking a picture tonight…with Roses mask…and no its not sad picture ..but strange…that picture make me think about many things in my  life…about masks  in our lifes…well i think that we all learn to wear many masks throughout our lives…but somethimes we can felt a dangerous disconnect with ourselfs coz all of that…when i start this blog i promise myself that i will just have fun here..that i will not write about Real life..but now i think that is time to put down all my masks..Smile mask…Brave mask…and to write what i feel..i think that i will not be able to do all of this if i didnt met someone 2 mounth ago with whom i am completly “naked”..and that is avery good feeling:)

Before 6 mounth i had many ppl around me…i dont coumt all that ppl in friends coz like i said once i dont belive in ppl much…but in that time i always had smile on my face…i was always ready for party and having fun…all my life i say what i think ..and ofc that brings me enemies also…but who cares…i lived my life with smile ..that was a period of Smile mask…yes many ppl around me…smile…said what i think but never show what i feel…

And then…5.september 2012….diagnosis- breast cancer….Smile mask is down..19.september 2012 -operation….i dont remeber clear that period coz that was a time for Brave mask…and Protect mask…coz i wanted to protect my family of all that shit …i dont want to talk now how my life changed and goes upside down in short time…i just wana say that i figured that when you dont have smile on your face…you lose ppl around you…that shows me that i have right coz i dont belive in ppl..after all that just true friends stay and that teach me to  appreciate and love that ppl more than before…the same story is in SL..coz SL is part of my life…i spend much time there..and yes i lost “friends” in SL..i am the same person like before just i need more peace now…to take pics…exploring…i am not in the mood for partys…dramas and other sl shit…i just wana spend good time when i log in…and forget about everything..

So….now i am in the middle of chemotherapy…i have 3 mounth more….and then 1 mounth x-rays…and one more little operation….and if i count good …till the end of summer everything will be back to normal…and like i said….i am happy …i have someone who makes me smile…someone who is ready to handle me without any my mask….and i know that is not always easy…someone who loves me no matter what…and yes i talk about virtual relatshionship..but feeling are not virtual..they are real….and who knows what will happen in future :)..but coz him i belive in everything in what i didnt belive before…

Mask

Now when i read this post….idk ..post it or delete it…nah i will put my Brave mask (coz yo know i must:) and make this post…publish

This song is for him 🙂

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4 thoughts on “ Masks in my life 

  1. Oh Lana, I am sorry to read what is going on in your life. You seem a strong woman, with a positive attitude! And…even if you do not smile, you certainly make other people smile with your posts, pictures and personality! Sending you big hugs! xx

    • Thank you for your words Caity…usualy i dont write posts like this…i had my black moment tonight…moment of truth or whatever…but i get back in normal fast:) …i published and on start i didnt mean that is good idea to share something like this…but that is life..SL or RL…its not always colorful ….xxx

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